Cut Kids Some Slack: Musings on Food Fears and “Helpful” Others
Scared of dogs When M was little she had a dog phobia. I’m talking screaming, climbing on me, uncontrollable fear of even a toy poodle. I can’t count how many people tried to talk her out of her fear, usually with a dog thrust into her personal space, and often against my explicit requests for them to stop. Take the German Shepherd owner whose dog was off-leash, jumping on me while M clawed at my hair shrieking, and the owner kept smiling, “Oh, she won’t hurt you!...
Read More“Eat it, no don’t you dare eat it!” Confusion and pressure undermine eating skills and trust.
I was recently at a children’s museum in another state. We were enjoying lunch, and I smiled and waved at a gorgeous preschooler at the table next to us. The mom and dad were attentive, loving, affectionate, and working really hard to get the two kids to eat (well, the mom was anyway). I have special experience and interest in helping adoptive and fostering parents, and the family was transracial, with white parents and black children. The adoption is relevant in terms of attachment and...
Read MoreMy cheerleader let me down. We’re heading to B-Dubs (read on…)
Me: “Honey, I need you to talk me into cooking dinner so we don’t end up at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight.” Husband: “No.” This is a first. Usually, when for whatever reason I don’t want to cook, a few words of encouragement from Hubby and I’m in the mood (so to speak). Almost always he prefers what I cook to restaurant food. Sometimes when I don’t feel like cooking, it’s having just one other person say they get it, it can be...
Read MorePouches and Squeezies: nice option or enabling counterproductive feeding?
I was shocked at Target recently when I saw that fully half of the baby foods section was taken up by pouches or “squeezies.” (This recent NYT article details their meteoric growth, convenience factor, and why they may be problematic…) I had first seen these about ten years in France. (Can you believe a convenience food that wasn’t invented in the U.S.!?) My nieces would get a pouch packed in the picnic lunch or on the bike ride. It was not a food consumed at home. It...
Read Moregetting dinner together is hard work:cut yourself some slack.
I am writing this post partly to remind myself what I tell my clients: Life gets crazy sometimes. You don’t have to cook everything from scratch every night to be a good mom. Give yourself a break, rely on convenience foods, or serve fruit instead of cooked veggies, and drop the guilt. If and when you can, getting back to menu-planning, shopping and cooking will be easier. Case in point, I am working on my final copy-edits for my book. (Just finished part 1, so I figured I need a break.)...
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Recent Comments
katja on Healing a Child’s Food “Obsession” (Part 1): Max’s Story
Thank you so much for chiming in and sharing how hard the process can be. So many parents give up...Anonymous on Healing a Child’s Food “Obsession” (Part 1): Max’s Story
Hi everyone. I am so happy that Max's story was so helpful to so many parents; it was largely...katja on Healing a Child’s Food “Obsession” (Part 1): Max’s Story
Oh Rachel, hang in there. There are many, many parents in the same boat, alas. I would encourage you to...Rachel on Healing a Child’s Food “Obsession” (Part 1): Max’s Story
I cried with relief reading this, thank you so much for being vocal about this as my son is exactly...katja on Trying to Get Kids to Eat Less Backfires: Part 4 Food ‘Obsession’
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