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My cheerleader let me down. We’re heading to B-Dubs (read on…)

Posted by on Jan 9, 2013 in Blog Posts | 9 comments

Me: “Honey, I need you to talk me into cooking dinner so we don’t end up at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight.”

Husband: “No.”


cooking-wifeThis is a first. Usually, when for whatever reason I don’t want to cook, a few words of encouragement from Hubby and I’m in the mood (so to speak). Almost always he prefers what I cook to restaurant food.

Sometimes when I don’t feel like cooking,  it’s having just one other person say they get it, it can be boring, and ‘thank you,’ and I’m happy to cook. I try not to eat out too much because it’s a hassle, expensive and the food is usually not great. But, sometimes I just don’t want to cook, and even though this morning I was looking forward to my deconstructed won ton dinner, at 4:45 on the local ice-rink, I wanted Wings.

So, at 6:15 we are meeting at B-Dubs (I’ve only been there once, and I looked up their menu online and saw it’s called B-Dubs…) I think it’s HI-larious (and emblematic of what is so wrong with how we approach food in this culture) that they only serve fat-free Ranch, so we may have to bring our own dressing 🙂 M doesn’t like fried chicken or gooey mac n cheese, so she would probably have liked the won-tons, but I think at 7, it’s time to introduce her to the chicken wing, eh?

Yay, and the won-tons can wait until tomorrow! What helps you get over that “I don’t want to cook” hurdle, and can you be happy and not feel guilty when you decide to eat out?  Oh, and don’t forget, eating out counts as a family meal too!

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  1. Jenny R.

    I am in a cooking slump right now. I just don’t get as much joy from it as I used to. But with a family of four on a tight budget and a kid with multiple, severe food allergies, it’s a necessity. I admit that one of my daydreams involves hiring a personal chef to plan meals, cook them, and clean up afterwards.

    • katja

      That is tough, when the allergies takes away some of those choices, or the budget. Not having the option I imagine makes it seem more onerous. I got back and am now re-energized to cook. We waited almost 30 minutes for our mediocre food, then waited for the bill. it was OK, but heavy food, so now I am looking forward to the wonton and broccoli, but recognize how lucky I am to have the choices. What a wonderful fantasy! Is that something you can ask for for Christmas? I did a piece a while back about gifting the services of home chefs for new babies or when a friend is sick etc…

  2. Kris

    My situation is probably different from others in that 1) I haven’t got children who depend on me to feed them; 2) my husband doesn’t expect me to cook during the week–he takes care of getting his own dinner, and; 3) I can eat the same thing every night.

    Because we have unpredictable work schedules (thank you, Corporate America, for your unreasonable demands on your employee’s time), we decided that it wasn’t practical to plan to eat dinner together Monday – Thursday. So he arranges his own dinner (sometimes he picks something up on the way home from work, sometimes he orders take-out, or sometimes he eats a larger lunch and forgoes dinner altogether), and I arrange my own dinner. Since meal planning for 1 has always been a challenge for me, I usually cook a big batch of something (usually soup or a pot of beans) on the weekend and then eat that all week long.

    That means that when I come home from work all I have to do is heat up something for dinner. I have to admit though that on some nights even that small task seems overwhelming, especially when it’s already 7:30 or so by the time I get home. Even taking pre-washed salad greens out of a bag can feel like just more work! Usually all it takes is my husband saying, “Don’t you have soup?” or “Why don’t you have a salad?” to keep me from getting fast food or ordering pizza. I agree, Katja, usually just the smallest comment or bit of encouragement is enough to make me switch gears and cook (or in my case, reheat!).

    On the weekend, we do usually go out to eat for one meal. Usually it’s a late lunch on Saturday which ends up covering for both lunch and dinner. Because we don’t often eat together during the week, it’s become kind of a special ritual that helps us to reconnect.

    • katja

      Kris, yes, the working and commuting thing makes it infinitely more complex. M started an evening activity once a week and I hate it. But, working from home, I could make the pork-fried rice and we ate it at 4:30, then had more when we got home at 7:30. I have so much empathy for working parents who are trying to juggle it all! I love that you too find just a little nudge from your partner helps. I love your weekend treat. So important to connect!

  3. Samantha C

    Well, I only cook/buy for myself so grain of salt and all that, but I’ve been dealing with this lately. I’m finally convincing myself to make more food on my own and buy less. But I’ve had several long, exhausting days at work recently and I feel absolutely no guilt about planning to order lunch when it’ll be tastier, warmer, more filling and more entertaining than bringing something.

    I find I have no patience to really cook anything when i get home from work, and I’m still figuring out how to manage that. (I do feel bad about getting fast food on the way home as often as I do, adn I’m trying to cut back.) I’ve gotten the rhythm going of making 4-6 servings of something over the weekend and keeping it in the fridge for lunches, maybe I just need to make a couple of different things during that cooking binge and have different foods avalible pre-made for lunches and dinners.

  4. Sarah

    When I don’t want to cook, dinner usually ends up being eggs and toast, or frozen waffles with Nutella and banana (like last week). However, we also have a great Thai restaurant around the corner and their take out a) always agrees with my finicky stomach, and b) leaves leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch!

    (Of course, the story is surely different for those feeding a crowd)

    • katja

      We have a Vietnamese around the corner we love too! MM, I love bananas and peanut butter. Yup, if it was just me, that’s probably what I’d have, or a bowl of popcorn (a big bowl!)