"How many discretionary calories can I have?" is the wrong question

"Uh-oh, I think I just exceeded my daily discretionary calorie limit!"

We are stuck in a control model of feeding and eating; calorie counts, points (BTW Weight Watchers failure rate is around 93% from some estimates-they don't actually publish data...) And then I see this graph sourced from the MyPyramid discretionary calorie recommendations. (Original link from USDA post no longer active. Updated resource 2015. Text from original USDA, discretionary calories same.)How many discretionary calories can I have?The discretionary calories allowance is based on estimated calorie needs by age/sex group. Physical activity increases calorie needs, so those who are more physically active need more total calories and have a larger discretionary calorie allowance. The discretionary calorie allowance is part of total estimated calorie needs, not in addition to total calorie needs. The chart gives a general guide.

Age and sex		Not physically active*			Physically active**
		Estimatedtotalcalorieneed	Estimateddiscretionarycalorieallowance		Estimatedtotalcalorieneed	Estimateddiscretionarycalorieallowance
Children 2-3 years old		1000 calories	165***		1000-1400 calories	165 to 170
Children 4-8 years old		1200-1400 calories	170***		1400-1800 calories	170 to 195
Girls 9-13 years old		1600 calories	130		1600-2200 calories	130 to 290
Boys 9-13 years old		1800 calories	195		1800-2600 calories	195 to 410
Girls 14-18 years old		1800 calories	195		2000-2400 calories	265 to 360
The original post was written by a doctor  about how she lets her children have "170" discretionary calories every day. It struck me how tedious and time-consuming that kind of thinking can be.This kind of feeding denies the wisdom of internal regulation and turns it all into tidy equations, that when you think about it are totally impractical in "real" life. If your 3 year-old runs around for 30 minutes, she can have an extra 5 calories? Hey, two more sprinkles on that 1/8 cup of low-fat frozen yogurt! (Or whatever it is...)It's not how children eat. They eat lots some days, little others. Lots one meal, less the next. This kind of rigid reductionism fights physiology, expects adherence to rigid portions and introduces pressure into feeding. It also, I imagine, leads to apathy for parents who find the notion of counting calories overwhelming. The number crunchers are not better than our bodies at figuring this out.It makes me sad for parents who want to do the "right thing" and think this is it.  I think especially of the parent who has struggled with an eating disorder who might be given this handout by a pediatrician or parent educator, or the parent of the child growing well at either the high or low end of the growth curve...This kind of lack of trust in our childrens' bodies distorts feeding, and undermines the trust we have to have in them to feed well.What do you think? What if the child wants more and begins to sneak or lie so he can still get the 170 calories at home? Join the discussion on facebook.