Satisfied? Hunger? Appetite?

As I finished my lunch the other day, I realized when I work at home, lunch isn't "over" until I've had a cup of coffee, and most days, a piece of chocolate with it. While I was waiting for my coffee to brew (I am having a lively discussion on my personal FB page about considering Keurigs vs Nespresso machines if you want to chime in... ) I thought about the question of how we know when  a meal is "over," when I can leave the table, and be satisfied...I thought back to a dinner I had when I was making that leap to tuned in eating a handful of years ago. I had never been a messed up eater, but still relied on external cues and more shoulds and shouldn'ts at the time... So, we were eating at a Vietnamese restaurant, and my ample entree was gone, but I wasn't satisfied. Was I hungry? I didn't think so, but I felt a little antsy, and like I wanted more. Did I need to wait twenty minutes to find out? I was debating ordering something else, when the fortune cookie showed up. I ate half the fortune cookie, and was satisfied! I remember being astounded. I had been debating a dessert or a spring roll, when I realized after those few bites, I was there. Happy, full, appetite and hunger satisfied.To me, hunger is the calories, the tummy, the headache maybe, and appetite is the tongue and the soul.When did you get the difference? Are you still working on it? What is helping, what makes it harder?With kids, I hear the advice often that we have to teach kids the difference. I too fell into that trap. A few years ago, I proudly told Ellyn (Satter) about my clever way of helping my daughter learn the difference. Often enough at a meal, I'd say, "I'm full," and then eat a few more bites. I didn't want to confuse M. So I'd say (she was three at the time.) "My tummy is full, but my tongue is still hungry." Ellyn looked at me for a moment, and said something to the effect of, "Why are you talking about it? She know already, you just have to let her listen to her body. She'll figure it out."All the talking is distracting. I figured it out on my own, not by reading about it, or counting points or dealing a meal, but by listening to my body... Kids can be trusted to figure this out too within the framework of a healthy feeding relationship. I have seen M do this for years: ask for seconds, or thirds, take one or two bites, and declare she was done.