"Nectarines are gross!!!!"

So it's a little awkward when you are the "feeding expert" and your kid is having a major meltdown at preschool pickup over what you brought for snack. My child, like her mother and her mother's mother likes food. Perhaps out of guilt or joy at seeing her happy after school I had relied too much recently on the home-made oatmeal cookies for the after school snack. I also generally want something I know she will likely eat since we go play at the park after school and dinner isn't often until 6:45. So today I decide snack is graham crackers (not a favorite), a cut up nectarine (which she normally loves) and a milk box. She asks what I brought right away. I tell her and she loses her stuff in the middle of the lobby. "I hate nectarines! They're gross! Is that all you brought! AHHHHH!!!!" I smile politely, nodding the mommy nod to the other mommies, "You know how it goes, eh?" The screaming continues to the parking lot where I get a couple inquiring looks, and in the car where we usually have a nice chat while she eats a quiet snack before the park. I actually stand outside the car while she thrashes around crying inside.

It's just a sandwich-or is it?

All she wants is a sandwich. Reasonable it seems, but it feels so wrong. I can't give in, even if it's only a sandwich. Why does this push my buttons? Because if I had gone home to make her a sandwich I would have violated one of the rules of the Division of Responsibility. I decide what she gets to chose from, she decides if she eats it. It wasn't about nectarines. It was seeing if she could decide what she got to eat– if she could pitch a big enough fit so that I always brought cookies.

A few minutes later we were parked outside our favorite park, sharing a milk box and graham crackers. She admitted the nectarine was really good and ripe and was mad that I had to eat a piece to get the top on the tupperware to fit. Kids will pitch fits, will try to get what they want in the moment– it's their job. It's our job to feed them well, to step back when we're annoyed and ask, why is this such a struggle right now? What is going on? Remember, your job is to decide what, when and where kids eat, it's the kids job to decide if and how much.