meal planning for the whole family

This salsa cranberry dish is a favorite of the grown-ups in the family. Not so much the child.  We had it the other night. It's an easy, fast, delicious, one-pot dinner. We call it "salcranzobuck." (salsa craisins, garbanzo beans, chicken-buck buck) When I make it with steak, it's "salcranzomoo." I know, pretty awful, but it floats our collective boats.Anyhoo. We had this last night. As an aside, I omit the almonds (too fussy) and dump in a can or garbanzo beans (not in original recipe) for more heartiness and stretching the stew.  As I watched M pass on the stew, I thought of planning menus and how hard that can be for many families, hence the inspiration for this post. The good news is, many clients express relief when working on feeding, that they get to enjoy food they want to eat again!So, I knew that M probably wouldn't eat SCZB. Though she's generally an adventurous eater, this one is a texture bonanza, we haven't had it much, and it's a little challenging with the sweet fruit and salsa. I also think her knowing the ingredients on this one doesn't help. (The ingredient list sounded awful to me too, but it comes out like a tagine in a way...)So, rather than make her macaroni and cheese, or an alternate main dish, I have the expectation that someday she will learn to like SCZB. I consider her tastes, and serve it with couscous and peas (a filling favorite) and plan a dessert she likes— fruit popsicle. M only ate peas and couscous,and her dessert, but she kept us company, enjoyed her meal, and I have faith that one day she is likely to enjoy SCZB, and until then...Main tips:

• Serve foods you want to eat. I love SCZB, I want to eat it, I cook it.
• Be sure there is something everyone can satisfy their hunger with, even if it's just the couscous and milk, or maybe another side dish.
• Kids will never learn to like to eat foods they never see. It's why family meals are so important. It's why I am not a fan of kids eating "kid food" at the kitchen island while mom and dad eat real food after the kids are in bed... One client told me her kids didn't like shrimp, and the Dad pointed out they had never had shrimp since moving into their house — five years ago, and three of the kids were under age five.
• Think about what your child likes, but don't limit the menu to only what the child likes. Challenge with new foods, but don't be mean about it. (I wouldn't for example serve SCZB with cottage cheese and bananas, or other foods M doesn't generally like.)
• Don't remind, pressure or beg, even the "one-bite-rule" to try to get your child to like SCZB or any other food. Learning to like new foods is a process that is hard to speed up, and easy to slow down. (If you love the one-bite-rule, and it works great for all your kids who are happy eaters who enjoy variety and self-regulate, then go for it. if however, the OBR leads to a stand-off, it's not helping...)
• Not make her "kid" food as an out. It sends her the message that this is too hard for her, that she can't learn to like it, and that there are kid and grown up foods.
• Don't tell them what you are thinking. For example, don't say, "I know you won't eat this, so I made you peas..." The meal-planning while helping them feel safe and get enough variety and quantity is not something they need to know about.

What do you think? Can you remain calm while your child passes on the main dish?